Too Much Screen Time? How Moms Can Break the Cycle
Are you an overwhelmed mother who is unable to focus? Maybe you have so many things to do that you don’t know what to do first. And amidst that, is it possible you are getting too much screen time?
Maybe you have asked yourself what is making you unhappy, and whether it could be all those messages on your phone… or is it Instagram? In this post, let’s talk about what to do if you feel like you’re running a call center by being online all the time.
A few years ago, I was in this very place…
I hated myself for not having time. Everything was moving so fast. I couldn’t find joy in life. I was always on my phone and no matter how hard I tried to be offline, I kept coming back to it. Do you know that feeling…? I just don’t know how to switch off.
‘Well… there is that switch off button on the phone, you know…‘ I would advise myself so wisely.
And I’d switch off the notifications on my phone. But it still did not help. I was still not me. I couldn’t focus on things…the kids were angry at me. I was angry at me.
The only person who was not moved… was my husband. He just continued being himself. Eat when he eats, sleep when he sleeps and goof around when he can.
He would come home from work, grab his tea, munch on some nuts… scroll through his notifications that would start beeping as soon as he switched on the WIFI on his phone. 10-15 minutes later, he’d throw his phone on the couch. He’d put his legs up, arm on his forehead and have a nap.
The girls would go climb up on his chest, chattering all the while. He’d pick one up and bounce her in the air… our son would tell him all his geekiness … he’d listen to him, advise or criticize… they’d be in an argument all evening… dinner… sleep.
I wanted to live like my husband… carefree
I mean… he had it so perfect. He had family time, office time, nap time, bed time, snack time… “mess with your wife” time (I mean it!).
How was it that I was staying at home all day, doing house chores and still trying hard to hit publish on one damn post and still failing..?!
I am a writer and this is what I do. I had chosen to be a stay at home wife so that I could be at home with the kids. Writing was what paid my website bills. But I couldn’t concentrate on it.
Most days, I’d be scrolling instagram or be in my WhatsApp chat groups answering people or commenting or liking posts of random strangers on the internet. Or I’d be sharing and forwarding stuff – amplifying people’s voices and be angry or sad at the state of the world.
It was like I had no purpose in life and I was just drifting with time. And of course… I was angry to be doing so.
So when I saw my husband with his simple life… it made me envious. I felt that he really had it easy. I wanted to live like him – no care, everything on time and with a purpose.
So one night, I told him this:
‘I want to be a husband too’, I said.
He said, ‘Stop running a call center‘.
‘… you don’t have to be online 24/7 answering every message right away. You don’t have to reach for your phone every time it beeps, you know… be real.’
That. Exactly that. I just stared at him… speechless!
I was running a call center. I was addicted to my phone.
He was right. Damn, he was right! I was always online.
So, I switched off my notifications. All of them.
At first, it seemed really awkward that I was coming online just once or twice a day. I felt lost in the sea of notifications waiting for me.
Some days I felt like I was losing track of the conversations on my Whatsapp groups. Then many times, I felt like I was not in my friends’ lives. Or that I was missing out on “meaningful things”.
But… it was liberating.
Turning off your phone can bring back peace in your life
You don’t have to run a call center. It’s great to be accessible to everyone, and what you do definitely matters. But if there is no joy then you’re overworking it.
If you are a blogger or run a home biz, even if you are just a stay at home mom, you should know what I am talking about. Working at home has its struggles, but staying at home all day feels like you are a pet in a cage.
When you are working from home, if you don’t draw a line between work time and home, then it gets in the way. You struggle, your family struggles, there is no time and you can end up feeling frustrated, wondering why you started this “game” in the first place.
Ditto for SAHMs.
Mothers need focus and purpose to be happier
Your phone makes you distracted, angry and overwhelmed. There are all those messages that keep popping up. There are all those discussions in your mind. Sometimes little disagreements happen too… Sometimes you want to watch something, but the kids need you…
The problem with your ‘status’ showing you online all the time means people think you have all the time in the world to do things for them. They tag you in threads just so that you can see that fun meme or answer someone’s question.
What’s your purpose with screen time?
Tell me: Would your life be any better if you did not see that cute meme or read someone’s opinion on how moms should parent in today’s society?
Do you really need to read all those forwarded messages and to give your advice and expertise on every question that is asked in your groups?
If you didn’t read those messages, would it impact your life or future?
I am sure you have felt it too. Our phones are seriously creating havoc in our lives. We are not happy.
We compare our lives to the perfect pictures of our friends; to the advice of others. We are made to feel guilty about overeating or lured to try new products.
We are spending more money. We are looking for more ideas but how many of those ideas are we really applying to our lives?
Do you relate? Aren’t we wasting time, energy and… brain cells?
Why are you running a call center? Why are you responding to every message? Why are you on your phone all the time? Does your LIFE depend on it? Is your phone enriching your life or degrading your standards?
Is it time to put your phone away?
You be the judge. It is in your hands to stop feeling overwhelmed. Because if you are running a call center and screen time is taking over your life — making you feel unproductive, angry, overwhelmed, sad and anxious, then isn’t it time you put your phone where it belongs?
Do you want to give your phone so much power over you? Can you give yourself permission to switch off your phone?
I know it is not easy. That is what most women tell me when I see all the signs of overwhelm in them due to screen time.
But I have been there in that exact same position. Switching off your phone is one of the hardest, most scariest thing to do. And it takes a lot of willpower to switch off your phone and pull away from the internet. But if you want to be happier… more focused and beat the overwhelm, you have to make that choice.
Sometimes, it is important to swallow the hard truth and bring change… for our own well being.
So, would you like to give it a try, though?
Here’s what to do!
How to manage too much screen time
Screen time addiction can be either due to overwhelm or boredom – both of which cause mismanagement of time. Overwhelm happens when we are unable to take the first steps in getting things done. Here’s a simple solution I learnt about getting off my screen and getting things done.
- Step 1: Remind yourself of your purpose. Who are you, what do you want out of your life and what does a perfect life look like for you. Write it down.
- Step 2: Create a to-do list SO GOOD that it helps you beat your overwhelm and boredom with just one go! When you know what you have to do in your day, it becomes easier to get to it.
- Step 3: Create some habits that will automatically help you get things done. It is our habits that make or break us. If you want to break a bad habit, you have to create a new one that works. For example like here in this case: Fix a time for screen time. Come online only for that amount of time and remind yourself before and after why you are on that app.
Would you like me to help you implement this?
Download my free Make It Easy Planner. It is a digital download and it can help you get organized. Just fill in your email address below and we will send it to you.
How I can help you with your mom routine
If you have read so far, I am thinking you probably are looking for a permanent solution to your problem. You may have seen many other such mom routines over the web and be a little worried about how you can actually implement all these ideas…
I help Muslim mothers beat overwhelm, manage their time better, allowing you to efficiently organize your life to create more time for yourself, your family, and your faith.
So, whether you are a new mom or mom of multiple children – stay at home mom or WAHM, work outside or run a business from home , even whether you homeschool or public school. If you want to know how to manage a home with little babies and toddlers, follow your dreams AND have time for rest and relationships, you have come to the right place. I can help.
I teach an online time-management course called Every day Productivity for Muslim Mothers.
Everyday Productivity For Muslim Mothers is a life-changing, scientific research and Islamic teachings based, time-management system that is proven to help you bring back balance in your life to be a happier, more intentional and organized mother you always wanted to be.
EPMM is a time management course designed specifically for Muslim Mothers. In just 30 days, we teach you how to easily create the right habits that will help you beat overwhelm.
CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT EVERYDAY PRODUCTIVITY FOR MUSLIM MOTHERS