Inside: How mothers can look and feel beautiful and confident with just a little self-care.
When our energy is low, it can be hard to muster up the confidence to put our best foot forward and look our best. But having the right beauty routine can be surprisingly powerful – it can give us a mental boost and help us to feel more confident. In this article, you’ll learn simple steps you can take to look beautiful when you don’t feel like it, so you can start feeling like your best self.
If you sometimes feel like you are not beautiful enough or wish that you had a fairer complexion or a smoother skin or that your hair was straighter, or if you look in the mirror sometimes and think that you need to lose weight or get in shape, this post is for you.
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is in your confidence. Sometimes other people make us feel like we aren’t enough, but more often it is we ourselves who look in the mirror and feel like we need to change to feel good enough.
To look beautiful – pretty, presentable and perfect is every woman’s right. It is what gives us confidence. The way our hair feels, our body shape, height, skin complexion, the sparkle in our eyes – it is all something that makes us feel good about ourselves. That’s why fitness and beauty are the most profitable industries!
We all want to look good. We want our family to admire us, we want our friends to compliment us and we want to be popular. It is not just about being young and pretty… we want to age pretty too.
How we look not only affects our confidence. It plays an important role in our mood too.
How you feel and look is more about how presentable you are
How you dress can make you look beautiful, but more than that, it is how you show up too. Have you noticed how we women behave so differently when we have to stay at home versus when we have to go out?
Imagine getting up in the morning to stay in your pajamas all day. A tousled head, unwashed face… being barefoot or wearing slippers all day long. Imagine smelling like eggs and coffee… may be you haven’t showered in the past two days. How would that make you feel as a person?
Compare that to waking up to get ready for work – showered, fully dressed head to toe in a nice suit and heels. You straighten your hair, put on some perfume and make up. No one is coming over. You are just working from home but you decide you want to look a little ‘I am ready for business’ kind. How would that make you feel all day?
I bet you will feel 100% more confident in a suit, some makeup and heels. It doesn’t matter what color your hair is or whether you have acne … but just getting dressed, and looking and, smelling good makes you productive and ready for the day..
Think about how you’d feel in a crinkled, stained dress, dirty spotty shoes, patchy makeup, hair sticking out of your bun and… morning breath? You are dressed but there are little details missing. Will it make you feel the same way as I described above?
Ouch. Right? Do you get the picture? How presentable we are totally changes how we feel and look at ourselves.
How different seasons of motherhood impact our confidence
As a mom of almost 17 years, someone who has been staying at home, working from home, working outside, homeschooling and public schooling her kids, and now as a business owner juggling bigger responsibilities, I have learnt a few things over the years.
Stay at home mom life with little babies and toddlers can be depressing, even though we are actually living our best life. I mean even though there is no work outside the home and no need for us to hurry, we are surrounded by our little babies, raising them, enjoying them and doing things on our own time… yet it can be depressing. The relaxed life means there’s more reason for us to not have a routine.
Working from home from your living room, although it seems like a dream job for many, it can be very lonely and often takes a toll on our mental health. When you are juggling home and work from home on your own time, taking time out for self-care seems like another chore.
Homeschooling, although such a fun thing to do, can often mean you are neglecting your own needs. Because amidst educating our children and showing up to play multiple roles, the easiest thing to drop from our priority list seems to be our needs to look good.
Being a business owner and working at your own time means you have to show up more confident than others around you because your ability to make money depends on your confidence. This is the role in which presentability is important and we know it.
When you are working outside, you have to sometimes stand taller than your height to make a mark so for sure, you do try harder to look good and you fret over small shortcomings.
Tell me in the comments if you agree with me… But here is what I am trying to point out to you: It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you. What matters the most is what you think of yourself. We have to show up to look good for our own mental health, first.
Pretty people are just a product of extra care.
It is not your skin, your hair texture or your expensive clothes that make you pretty. Being pretty is all about how much attention you are giving yourself.
When you take the time to take care of yourself, it shows. If you have colored your roots, straightened or curled your hair, put on some tinted moisturizer, shaped your nails and worn a pretty dress, it shows. But more than showing, it feels good.
10 things you must do if you want to look good.
You have a right to look good and love yourself. Makeup is just smothering on products. Artificial colors don’t make you beautiful. Here are 10 things that do make a difference.
1. Wash your face.
Girl, wash your face! 9/10 times, it will instantly pick you up and make your feel fresher and cleaner. Clean is pretty. The smell of soap (or face wash, if you like) is going to instantly give your complexion and skin a boost.
2. Dress how you want to feel.
Did you know that clothes can change your mood. Feeling fat? Put on something soft and clingy. Feeling unproductive, wear gym clothes. Feeling unattractive, put on something floral or pink or red. Get some pretty lace or black satin… red if that is what you like. Want to feel powerful, put on a crisp suit. Clothes can affect your mood. No kidding.
3. Do your hair.
More than makeup, it is your hair that will help you feel prettier. The A wrong style of hijab can give you a double chin (personal experience) or make your head look big. If you are at home, and possibly you have had enough of your curls, straighten them. Or if you feel your hair is too flat, curl it! Maybe you feel messy, get a nice banana clip. May be it’s been a while since you let your hair down. Blow dry and wear a clip. Try something different. It’s YOUR hair… and you have every right to play with it.
4. Change your footwear.
A few years ago, I saw this meme where someone said they can tell a woman’s status just by looking at her preference for shoes. The psychologist in me wondered if that was related to women’s self worth or practicality. So I did a little research and asked women in my community what kind of shoes they prefer wearing and why. It turns out, it was not practicality but more to do with their moods. Moms with little children bought heels that they hardly wore. Why buy heels when you know you can’t wear them? Because they love shoes and they love heels. Older women too said the same. Younger women (college students) bought flats and running shoes because that helped them run about. But so did moms of older kids. Some women wore boots to coffee dates and they were moms with older children. Meaning to say, don’t confine yourself to the same type of shoes. If you want to be active, wear your sports shoes. If you feel like being a lady, wear your pumps and don’t think twice.
5. Put on some fragrance.
Maybe you have a nice fragrant moisturizer or a hand cream because you don’t like wearing perfume. Whatever it is, smells are linked to feeling good and pretty. If you aren’t into spraying yourself, get a scented body wash. Uset a bubble bath or a shower gel or maybe a shampoo or hair conditioner that picks you up.
6. Wear some jewelry.
It doesn’t have to be gold and diamonds but so many people tell me how just putting on their wedding ring makes them feel expensive. There is a reason why women wear jewelry and why women are allowed in Islam to wear jewelry but not men. Jewelry makes you feel feminine. Period.
7. Invest in beauty.
Go to the parlor, get your hair colored, blow dried or buy that new hair brush everyone is talking about. Buy some make up, experiment with another eye shadow or lip color. Change the brand of makeup you buy. Get a new dress or a perfume. Set aside some money every month for your beauty needs. Girls need beauty supplies and tools. We need clothes … maybe not that many bags but yeah, shoes for sure!
8. Build self care into your routine.
Before you do any of that, it is essential that you take out time for yourself first. You need three times in the day for yourself – one in the morning (to get ready for the day) , one in the afternoon ( to relax) and one in the evening (to unwind before bedtime). Are you getting enough self care?
9. Don’t neglect your soul.
A heart that is unsettled will never find peace or feel beautiful. Beauty is not skin deep. It rises with the health of your soul. How are you nurturing your soul?
10. Guard your confidence.
Surround yourself with the right kind of people because if you have friends and family always pointing out your faults, you are going to feel unworthy. Contrary to popular belief, you can unfollow people in real life too. You can choose to give priority to people who make you feel good, who encourage you and appreciate you. You can pick and choose your friends. And at the same time, you can choose to not let the voices of people who hurt you reach your head.
Beautiful people are a product of self-care. Confident people are a product of self care too. So why not work on giving ourselves more attention.
I hope I gave you some ideas on how to look and feel good. Share your thoughts with me in the comments.